


A light in the dark

by Cowoline



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-04-07 09:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14077602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cowoline/pseuds/Cowoline
Summary: After taking over the Eternal Throne, former Jedi Knight Anaya faces an internal struggle of ideology. With finally having the time to ponder the events of the past many years, she needs to rediscover herself. Her journey leads her to realize just how similar her and Arcann truly are.All the while Arcann is watching her, and trying to come to terms with emotions he has never the the opportunity to feel before.First chapter is bits and pieces that make the romance scene in the game seem like a more natural development.Please give me some prompts and I will write more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't have the time to read this through, so please forgive me if there are any typoes and such. If you have any prompts please share and I will do my best to write something fun.
> 
> Please leave a comment and thank you for reading this. I hope you enjoy it.

Defeated she put down the datapad. She had overthrown Vaylin and was now the leader of Zakuul - despite her insistence that she didn’t want to be Empress. In the cantina, people were celebrating. On Zakuul, Indo Zal was planning a great party, but celebrating was the last thing she wanted to do. All she saw was death. Vette, who she had been unable to save. Vaylin, who she had ben unable to turn to the light. Anaya had no idea how she was suppose to face Senya again. She killed her daughter and though there was no other option, and Senya accepted that fact, Anaya felt that guilt festering in her. She needed air - and to meditate - somewhere quiet and peaceful. She send a brief message to Theron and Lana, so they knew where to find her in case of an emergency.

Walking across the beautiful surroundings on Odessen, the shade stalkers seemed to leave her alone. As far as she could tell they were attracted to fear, and at that moment she calm - if sad. She kneeled at the pool of water and began meditating. Almost immediately she felt the presence of her old Master - Orgus.

“You can’t hold on to that pain. Pain leads to despair and despair will always lead you to the dark side,”

“I need to learn from this. I am responsible for so many…”

“Keep to the jedi code. It will guide you,”

Anaya took a deep breath and focused on her meditation. She attempted to block all distractions and feel the force flow through her. Concentrating had become harder. And then she suddenly felt a presence. She jumped up and drew her lightsaber. The blue light of her lightsaber lit up the night and made Arcann’s blue eyes stand out even more. He was completely stoic and simply looked at her. She felt her heart thundering in her chest, and she panted to keep up with it.

“Arcann! You scared me,”

“I suppose there is a first time for everything,” there was some amusement in his voice and a small smile on his lips, but the expression faded quickly as he ignited his lightsaber threw it behind her.

The shade stalker fell to the ground some distance behind them.

“You should not let your guard down, when you are alone out here,” he warned.

She narrowed her eyes a little skeptically.

“Is that why you are out here? To protect me?”

“I was already out here… trying to make sense of everything that has happened,” he sighed.

She nodded with understanding and turned around looking down into the waters. They stood there in silence for while, and she barely noticed his presence at all. Eventually Arcann gave voice to his thoughts.

“Something seems to be bothering you.” he narrowed his brow in concern,”I hope it’s not me,”

“No, of course not,” she dismissed immediately and turned her head to look at him.

Arcann smiled with obvious relief - though his concern was still obvious.

“We are not so different you and I,”

He gave her a doubtful look as he objected.

“You’re legacy isn’t stained with the blood of innocents,”

There was a deep melancholy to him, whenever he spoke of his past.

“You don’t know that,” she sighed, “ _I_ don’t know that,”

She shook her head and turned from him again and looked into the water.

“Commander?”

“When I was younger, I went to confront your father. He twisted my mind as he did yours. There are months that I can’t account for. I have no recollection of my actions. All I know is, that for a time, I was sith.”

Arcann was obviously taken aback by the information, as she saw his reflection in the water.

“But you resisted… You must have,”

There was an almost heartwarming confidence in his voice as he spoke.

“Eventually I did. I was so sure I had it all figured out. I stuck to the jedi code and never crossed it. No emotion. No fear. No… attachments. I thought myself righteous, but now... “ she smiled a little wryly, “I believe I was just naive,”

“I have a hard time picturing that;” he stepped up next to her and looked into the water with his arms placed firmly behind his back.

“Flatterer,” she chuckled and was rewarded by a small smile, “The jedi teaches us that the force needs to be balanced - that balance means light,”

“And you, commander? What do you believe?”

“I believe that being balanced means acknowledging the dark, but not letting it guide you. I don’t think one emotion can be qualified as leading to either the light or the dark side. The Jedi teach that attachment leads to the dark side, and yet there are sith who avoid love because it pulls them toward the light. Valkorion cast you aside without any attachment. In many ways that distance is not unlike what many jedi believes to be right - without the torture and cruelty of course,” she gave him an apologetic look and for a brief moment looked at him, ”But it was Senya’s love that healed you. It was your love for her, that convinced her that you could be saved,”

“And your forgiveness as well. It would not have been possible, if not for you,” he pointed out.

There was a softness to the way he spoke, that convinced her that there was nothing left of the man, who imprisoned her and tried to kill her. The similarities between her and Arcann seemed striking just then. Despite her fondness for Lana and Theron, only Arcann could truly understand what her struggles had been.

“You give me too much credit,”

“No. You defeated Valkorion more than once. Your resolve, whatever it’s motivation, is what made you stand here victorious,”

He looked at her intensely, but she didn’t meet his gaze. Vette, Vaylin and so many other people, who died along their journey to victory, flashed before her eyes. She had taken life before, but she did not feel responsible in the same way she did now. A memory of her proudly telling Valkorion that she had no regrets, flashed before her eyes, and she twitched as if she had been slapped. She could see Arcann reaching for her, for the briefest moment, but then seemed to think better of it.

“What if it is much more complex than simply light or dark? What if it depends entirely on the person, who makes those choices and their motivations behind them? Everyone makes mistakes, but I believe that everything is a lot more grey, than the code my younger self clung to,”

“I wonder, what that means for me… If I will ever be able to truly abandon the hatred inside me,”

She reached for his hand and gave it a squez to give him some comfort and lessen the impact of her next words.

“I don’t know, but I know that I’m proud of you, Arcann.”

Arcann looked at their hand momentarily and then seemed to swallow.

“I… thank you, commander,”

“Would you meditate with me? Perhaps some jedi wisdom would do us both some good,” she suggested, finding somehow his company soothing.

“If you’re certain?”

“Of course. I enjoy your company,”

“I… find that difficult to believe,” he replied dryly to which she chuckled kindly and made him sit down across from her.

* * *

 

He ran his hand over the metal. Making sure it was smooth to the touch. Its colour would fit perfectly against her honeyed skin.

Smooth. Tender. Warm.

He felt a warmth spread through him and shook his head. His feelings were betraying and whispering secret desires best left suppressed. He turned his focus to the metal. There could be no nicks or odd buckles around her shoulders. Her wavy ebony locks would get caught in them.

Wild. Untameable. Soft.

He jerked again. If his mind kept wandering like this he would never finish it. He focused on the size of it, and hoped he had gotten it right. It was so different from anything else she wore. Her pronounced curves, showed both muscle and feminine contours. He dreaded it would be too small - or too large. Between the two prospects he really didn’t know which was worse. He turned around and leaned against the desk, while rubbing his face with his hands. He imagined with dread her expression if it was wrong. She was too kind to say anything, but those eyes of hers would reveal it.

Emeralds. Soulful. Gentle.

He groaned in annoyance. A distraction - that was what he needed. But as soon as he left his room, he got the exact opposite. Her serene presence was walking in his direction - oblivious to his struggles.

“Arcann,” she smiled, “I was about to do some meditating and wondered if you would like to join me?”

His heart sped up at the prospect. Meditating with her had become one of his favorite things to do.

Touch. Heat. Comfort.

His mind snapped out of it, as thoughts were taking him to a place he was terrified to go. He did not want false hope - regardless of how much he had come to admire her.

“I... Thank you, but I promised to help Senya with… something,”

“Oh, alright. I’ll see you later then,” her voice calm and completely deprived of anything resembling regret, as she walked away. As if him declining her invitation had been the most normal thing in the universe. She had no idea, what he was going through and how hard it was not clinging to the desire to be near her.

Arcann leaned against the door, and brought his hand to his face as he sighed hopelessly.

“So, what is it you will be helping me with?” he heard Senya asking with mirth in her voice.

He straightened his back and scowled at her. Her humorous expression faded instantly and turned concerned.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing… I just find this difficult… interacting with others,” he explained, “Would you like to take a look at something for me?”

She nodded and followed him without hesitation. When he gestured to the armour she picked it up. She studied it and ran her hand across the plates, but in a very different way than he had earlier, he realised. He almost blushed at the discovery - and the implication of the meaning behind the gestures he had done earlier.

“This is beautiful craftsmanship. You put a lot of effort into this,”

“It’s not quite finished yet,” he answered instead of what he meant to say.

“For the commander?” she asked casually as she kept inspecting it.

“Yes. I wanted to show her how grateful I am,” he explained quickly making sure that there were no misunderstandings - or perhaps so there would be exactly that. A misunderstanding that he was simply doing this out of gratitude, and not because his heart trembled in terror at the mere thought of the commander getting hurt.

“The size looks right,” his mother mused.

“Are you sure? I want it be…” _perfect_ , “right,”

“I believe so, but I know a way we can make sure,” she turned on her comm, “T7, could you come to Arcann’s quarters please?”

“Mother, no!” Arcann objected mortified, but a reply sounded over the comm.

“T7 = right away.”

It only took a few minutes for the droid to arrive. For such a tiny thing, Arcann knew that Anaya loved it dearly - and the droids loyalty to her was undeniable. Which begged the question; would it tell her?

“T7, could you tell me if this armour is the right size for the commander?” Senya asked politely.

“T7 + scans of Jedi = sure,”

“Thank you, I…” Senya’s comm went of and she was called away. She smiled at Arcann as if she meant to give comfort before leaving. This now left Arcann alone with T7 and a sudden fear that he would be exposed. At least the droid seemed to be one of the few to simply accept him and just calmly continued its task.

“Jedi + armor + 2cm wider at waist = 96,3% fit,”

“Thank you. Could you keep this between us?” the droid made a confused noise, “it’s a gift,” Arcann clarified.

“Gift + T7 = secret,”

“Thank you. Why do you have her measurements?” Arcann found himself wondering as he began adjusting the armour.

“Doc + jedi health = scans. Weekly upload + T7 = in case of emergency,”

Arcann remembered reading or hearing about a former companion of hers by that name.

“He was her physician - her companion?”

“Affirmative. Jedi + Doc = explosive,”

“Explosive?”

“Jedi + attachment = forbidden,”

Arcann grabbed hold of the table for support. He felt something inside him turn - almost to the point of nausea.

“I see… thank you for your help T7,”

“Arcann = welcome,” the friendly little droid responded and was on its way.

As soon as the door closed behind it, Arcann collapsed on the bed and gave a defeated sigh. The jedi were known not to form attachments. It was one of their core beliefs and yet some part of Arcann had forgotten. Even had she broken it, it had been with a doctor. A man who healed, when all Arcann had ever done was take lives. He felt like a fool, but at least he had been right to decline meditating with her earlier. He sighed to himself with regret:

“Why do I always seek the affection of those unable to give it?”

* * *

  


Anaya swallowed as she walked up to General Aygo. She had to address the entire Alliance on what transpired on Iokath. Half of her people were former Empire and Sith. How could she possibly justify giving up the alliance with their Empress - former Empress? When she stopped in her tracks, she had not noticed Arcann standing next to her.

“You can do this, commander,” he encouraged in a low, subtly voice and she smiled a little. It never ceased to amaze her how unwavering his confidence in her was. How supportive and loyal he truly was. Had Valkorion truly appreciated his son and nurtured all his qualities rather than provoking his shortcomings, Arcann would have been a great leader - a great man. She took his hand briefly and stroked it as thanks. If her former enemy followed her so loyally, then perhaps the rest of the alliance would as well. Perhaps if she didn’t have confirmation of a traitor in their ranks, she would actually believe it.

“Today we acknowledge victory. We have control over Iokath, but I’m not blind to the sacrifices that got us here. Empress Acina betrayed this Alliance by seeking control of the planet alone - and the price was far to high. I know, there are those among you, who admired Acina. I count myself among them. For me this was not the death of an enemy, but of an ally - a friend. Tomorrow there will be a wake for Acina, celebrating her accomplishments and honoring her sacrifice, for anyone who should wish to attend.

The Empire does not favor the Alliance as a result, and we now have an Alliance with the Republic. Some of you will like this, others will feel anger and worry. When I look at you, I see that cooperation between us is possible. I don’t see the Empire or the Republic. I see the Alliance - and no matter your background, this is your home. We are a family, that has moved passed their differences, and I’m so proud of you all.

We are not the Empire. We are not the Republic. We are the Eternal Alliance and we will continue to protect this galaxy from whoever wishes to harm it.”

Even as the crowd applauded Anaya had never felt more sick. She had called Acina a traitor, but in truth was it not Anaya that had betrayed her? Had she clung so strongly to old doctrines, that she had lost her way? The Republic attempted to murder her, while the Empire came to her rescue. “ _Vette. Vaylin. Acina… What have I done?_ ”

* * *

  


Iokath

Anaya hat… felt disquiet on the planet. “ _Not hate. There is no emotion…_ ” she reminded herself. In a previous life fighting the Empire had been a necessity, and though she had never taken pleasure in taking a life, it had never really bothered her either. She gave them the chance to surrender, and if they chose to fight she had done what she had to. That had changed. Whenever she struck down an imperial force she saw her Alliance. She saw men and women, who served her loyally despite opposing believes. Iokath was stained by a war she had helped re-ignite - was it truly any wonder if someone was turning on her? She was so distracted by her inner crisis, that she did not see the large droid charging at her. A force pushed her, and when she hit the ground and finally realized, what had happened. Arcann was in the grasp of a massive droid trying to crush him to death. He had pushed her out of its path, and let himself be captured instead. Fear grasped at her heart “ _If he is hurt…_ ”. She looked up and saw a giant pipe. With the force she ripped it apart and made it slam into the droid. As the droid hit the wall it lost its grasp on Arcann. She jumped on the speeder and quickly drove by Arcann who just managed to jump on. It seemed like they had crossed half the planet, before they finally lost the colossus and found some sort of safety. Arcann was putting on her brave face and suppressing his pain, but Anaya knew, that if he was holding his rips the way he was, the pain was excruciating.

“I’m so so sorry. Here, let me help you,” she helped him off the speeder and made him sit in the shadow.

Almost losing her calm jedi demeanour, she searched frantically through their bags for the medical supplies. As soon as she found them, she began treating his wounds.

“What were you thinking?” she asked in a voice so fragile she barely recognized it.

“I had to protect you,” he answered with a wry smile, then winced ever so slightly in pain.

“It could have killed you,” she stated a little more sternly.

“I am expandable. You’re not,” he replied calmly.

“Not to me.” she objected instantly. At the realization of what she had said she felt her heartbeat quicken and her face flush. Whatever pain had been shown in Arcann’s face completely vanished as he simply looked at her - as if he was searching for something. She swallowed and averted his eyes, keeping a focus on his injuries. “And not to your mother. Or the Alliance,”

“You mean that?”

“You’re my friend. And one of the few I trust implicitly,”

“Thank you,” he smiled, but there was something mournful in his gaze that she couldn’t quite place - and Iokath was not a place to linger long. She had to get him treated and to safety.

* * *

 

Weeks later, the incident on Iokath, had still not left Arcann completely. The fear of losing her. The sweet hope her words had given him, only for it to vanish again just as quickly. What was even worse was that she was going back to Iokath. She had to face the ancient machines that dwelled there. Machines so powerful that the Zakulans believed them to be gods. And she was going without him. He looked at the finished amour and made a decision. Arcann picked up the nearest datapad and sent Anaya a message, before leaving for the ship dock - with the armour.

 

* * *

 

On a cliff on Odessen, two new lovers were sitting and overlooking the Alliance base. Anaya cheeks felt sore from smiling as she leaned over and nuzzled her face in his shoulder. Arcann put his arm around her and pulled her closer. Even if the embrace was cold steel, it felt like… comfort. She had thought that once she had been rid of Valkorion it would all finally have been over, but it wasn’t until now that it truly felt like closure. Arcann’s words had silenced the battle inside her and finally it felt like everything was going to be alright. Better yet, it felt like all of it had a purpose. The force worked in mysterious ways - had her meeting with Vitiate and everything that transpired since Tython let her to him? So, that they might understand and heal each other? She giggled at the thought.

“What?” Arcann asked in a voice, so cheerful he might be on the edge of chuckling himself.

“Nothing, I was just… it’s silly,”

“Anaya,” he pushed and at the sound of her name on his lips she believed he could make her confess to anything.

“I was just contemplating if this was all the will of the force. If somehow we were meant to find each other,”

“In that case it should have informed me, when we first met. Had I simply kissed you then, maybe all this death could have been avoided,” he was smiling, but Anaya was not blind to the sadness in his eyes. She wanted to comfort him, but she didn’t want a lengthy discussion to make their happiness fade so quickly. So instead she attempted humour.

“Would have been awkward with Marr standing right next to us, though,” she gave him a cheeky smile and was rewarded with a chuckle.

He embraced her with both arms and kissed her on top of her head, while releasing a contented sigh. After a short while he broke the comfortable silence.

“Forgive me, but I have to ask. T7 mentioned a former companion of yours - Doc,”

Anaya pulled away a little surprised by the mention of Doc at that moment, but looked at him patiently.

“What about him?”

Arcann hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“Well, T7 seemed to think you had a--” he seemed to be pondering what to say, “-- explosive relationship,”

Anaya leaned her head back and laughed good naturedly.

“That seems appropriate,”

Arcann’s expression faltered, and Anaya’s turned mortified.

“Wait, you thought… Oh, Arcann, no. Doc is… How did Kaliyo put it? All women are allowed one mistake - and Doc counts as two. He has no respect for women. He is utterly selfish and his flirting is revolting - to me at least,” she clarified stroking his cheek.

“Truly,” Arcann still seemed unsure. It wasn’t jealousy, Anaya would had sensed that in him. What Arcann felt was the fear of not being good enough. The fear that someone out there was more deserving of her than him.

“Yes. Explosive? You got that from T7, right?”

Arcann made a small gesture as confirmation.

“T7 probably said that, because I once threatened Doc that I would feed him to the Colicoids, if he kept making advances at me,”

Arcann chuckled - a dark rumble deep in his chest that made her skin tingle pleasantly.

“Such hostility, commander,” he pulled her closer and gently touched her face, “And yet you allow me, of all people, this close to you,”

“That’s because I adore you,”

“That does not make it any less astonishing,” he shook his head and leaned in to give her a tender kiss, “Thank you,”

As the kiss deepened, his hold on her became tighter. Anaya put a hand on his neck and gently made him follow her as she leaned back and down into the grass.


	2. Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anaya and Arcann are caught of guard, when rumours about there new relationship starts to spread. It leads to awkward confrontations with many of the Alliance members.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have tried to accommodate requests with this chapter and I hope you will enjoy it. 
> 
> If you have more requests feel free to leave a comment below or give review on this chapter.
> 
> Thank you for reading it :)

She couldn’t lie. Theron’s betrayal had hit her hard. He had become like a brother to her and still he had turned on her - on them. Anaya couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. Lana was convinced of his guilt, but Anaya wanted to believe the opposite. She was certain he was still loyal to them. She _knew_ him. She was going through the latest information in the briefing room, when she saw she had missed a message. A broad smile formed on her lips when she saw it was from Arcann, who was out on a supply run with Senya. It was short, but sweet.

“ _We managed to get the supplies you requested and are now on our way back. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again._

 _\- Arcann_ ”

“Message = happy?” she heard T7 beeping next to her.

“Very happy,”

“Arcann + jedi = spend more time together?”

“We might… hey, how did you know the message was from Arcann?” her attention turned to her trusted droid.

“Jedi + big smile = Arcann,”

Anaya felt herself blush and put down the datapad, locking it to voice activation only.

“He’s a friend, T7,”

“Doc = friend. Arcann > Doc. Arcann = not only friend,”

“Well, aren’t you nosy today?”

The discussion continued until T7 had to turn of at the labs and Anaya went toward the hangar bay. As she walked down the corridor, she felt something grab her and pull into a small alcove that had been a “miss-dig”, when they created the base. She made a noise of surprise and was ready to defend herself, when she felt a pair of hot lips pressed against hers. She chuckled at Arcann’s enthusiasm as he pinned her to the wall with his hands on her hips.

“I missed you,” he growled as his lips moved to her neck.

“I can tell,” she chuckled breathlessly.

If this was the reward for making him miss her, she might have been tempted to send him on supply runs more often.

“You could have told me, you were b...”

She was interrupted by Arcann assaulting her lips again. His urgency was heartwarming and his passion was... so new to her. She turned her head to speak.

“Arcann, we don’t have to…” she laughed against his lips as he instantly caught them again.

She put her hands on his face and gently held him in place.

“Let me talk,” she chuckled.

“Then talk.” there was a hint of a growl in his voice as the look he gave her was almost predatorial.

That look made combined with sensing his feelings for her made her giggle.

“If you have nothing to say, I’m going to kiss you again,” he challenged, which just made her giggles continue.

“Pffft!” was the only noise that came from her.

“One,”

“Arcann,” she tried breathlessly.

“Say my name like that again and I cannot promise to restrain myself to a kiss. Two,”

She buried her face in her hands from blushing.

“Thr…”

“We don’t have to keep us a secret,” she blurted out, just managing to interrupt him.

That sobered him and he gave her a sad smile as he stepped back. Seeing this change in him she reached for his cheek and instinctively he leaned into her touch with closed eyes.

“I’m not ashamed of you,”

“I know,”

There was something inherently sad in the way he said it.

“Then why do you want to keep this secret? Isn’t it a good thing?”

“It is beyond good… it’s more than I dared hope for, but…”

There was a sad smile on his lips, but she still felt something like pride in him as he spoke his next words.

“Far from everyone is capable of a compassion as great as yours. Not all look favorable on the Alliance - on you - for letting me go unpunished for my many crimes. If it becomes known that you…” he hesitated, “how close we have become, the forces against the Alliance will grow,”

“Arcann, you don’t have to worry about that. I’m a jedi. Our order has always spared whomever we could, regardless of their crimes. Senya and I both saw the good in you, and we were right. I stand by my decision, regardless of what our relationship is,”

She was rewarded by a heartwarming smile, but he still didn’t close the distance between them.

“Your confidence is inspiring, but regardless, it could present a danger. If someone wanted to seek revenge for my crimes, they might take it out on the Alliance. Or try to harm you to get to me,”

Arcann always had a tendency towards the stoic and serious, but at that moment it seemed even more pronounced. She looked at him closely to see if there was anything suggesting that he didn’t truly mean it. There was nothing but confidence.

“You really feel _that_ strongly about this?”

“I do. I aim to protect you. As much from myself as from everyone else,”

There was a devotion to the way he spoke that touched her heart deeply, and she felt that she could never deny him anything that meant so much to him. She gave him a small smile, that was meant to comfort.

“If that’s what you want,”

“Thank you for understanding,”

“I will always want to understand you,”

He was about to close the distance between them again, when a patrol walked by. Instead they pulled from each other completely and talked about his supply run instead.

* * *

  


Arcann was leaning against the wall in the shadows outside the cantina, looking at Anaya standing in the sun talking to some of the officers. There was a devotion to how he watched her. It had been like that almost since they joined the Alliance. There was a remorse to his entire person. Always keeping his distance to others. Devoting all his time to everything and anything that would benefit their cause. And as he watched to commander, there was a sadness and a longing Senya couldn’t ignore. Lately, however, it had been more besotted - though she doubted anyone had noticed beyond her. Most people avoided looking at him entirely unless they absolutely had to deal with him. The change in Arcann was subtle, but then again Senya didn’t miss much - even if he hadn’t been her son.

“You’re staring again.” she pointed out as she approached him.

Arcann jumped at the sound of his mother’s voice, who was smirking mischievously at him.

“And now you’re blushing,”

Arcann looked utterly flustered and the part of her, that was his mother, felt some pity for him, but Senya’s more devious nature was enjoying setting him of balance.

“I was lost in thought,” was his excuse.

“I saw. I can understand why. She is as skilled as the most dedicated knights of Zakuul and has a wisdom that rivals even the most powerful of the scions. Not to mention kind and pretty,” Senya smiled.

Arcann made an uncomfortable movement and evaded his eyes from the commander - almost as if he didn’t want to let on that he had noticed. She put a hand on his shoulder and met his eyes.

“Arcann, you have nothing to be ashamed of,”

He smiled a little and shook his head.

“I’m not worthy of her. She deserves someone… better. But when I look at her,” his smile broadened as he looked at her again, “I start to believe that anything is possible - even with all that I have done,”

Senya couldn’t help but smile fondly. There was actual hope and joy in his voice for the first time in ages. Last time she had heard him sound this way, he had been a small boy playing with Thexan. She would do anything to go back there and escape Valkorion - before they were old enough to refuse. She closed her eyes and locked away the pain in her heart. Right then, Arcann was showing some happiness and with everything that had happened, that in itself was a miracle.

“Did she like the armour?”

Arcann looked at her with an unfamiliar smile too happy for him to conceal, though it was clear that he made an attempt.

“She loved it,”

Senya stroked his back and smiled before walking away, leaving him to watch the commander. She wondered if her son was aware that he had fallen in love, and prayed that the outlander returned his affection for her.

* * *

 

Ananya was at her morning meeting with Lana. Even months after it felt odd not to have Theron along for the briefing. She missed him and his banter with Lana. Today, however, Theron was the furthest thing from her mind. Since she and Arcann had confessed their feelings just a little over two weeks before, she had found herself drifting into prolonged daydreaming, replaying his sweet words to her over and over. She had never felt anything like it. From the beginning she had felt compassion for Arcann. Anaya had not seen a monster, but a man tormented by the cruelest entity she had ever encountered. Warped and twisted by hatred, jealousy and neglect. She had always wanted to believe he could come back from that - just as she had all those years ago, when Scourge had helped her escape Vitiate’s clutches. And now she was being rewarded by seeing him change and grow into a kind and loyal man… a loving man. His reaction before she left for Copero, still left her breathless even more than a week after:

_As soon as Arcann had heard about the Ascendancy, he had come to her quarters under the pretence that she had asked him to bring intel from Indo Zal. He was pacing back and forth with his arms crossed in front of his chest, while Anaya was putting on her armour he had given her._

_“Are we certain the Ascendancy can be trusted?” there was a worry in his voice she couldn’t simply dismiss as something minor._

_“I don’t see that we have a choice. If there is any hope of reasoning with Theron we need to get to him soon,” she explained with a sigh, as she hoped it was not already too late._

_He nodded without looking at her and instead focused on the floor._

_“Arcann, what is it?”_

_He walked over to her and seemed to be contemplating something._

_“I know you can take care of yourself, but…” he hesitated and then finally met her gaze, and while stroking her cheek continued, “I can’t help feeling anxious not being by your side,”_

_She leaned into his touch and gave him a soft smile. She knew what he was feeling, but no other than the woman, Temple, was allowed to accompany her on Copero._

_“You gave me this to protect me remember,” she pointed to the armour cheerfully and he gave her a sad smile._

_“Unfortunately, it doesn’t give me as much comfort as I had hoped,”_

_“I’ll come back safely,” she vowed her smile not failing for a moment._

_“You better.” Arcann declared as he pulled her into his embrace._

 

“We have been investigating the Herald’s of Zildrog and tried to make use of SCORPIO’s contact. Unfortunately without any significant results.”

Lana’s voice brought her back to reality.

“Commander!”

“Yes?”

“Are you alright, commander? You seem distracted,”

“I was…” she hesitated, “communing with the force,”

“I see. And this would have nothing to do with a certain former emperor?” Lana smirked knowingly.

The effect was instant and Anaya felt her face flare up. Even with her darker skin she was absolutely certain that the change was obvious.

“Oh, don’t look so surprised. We have all seen how devoted he is to you. But are you certain it is a good idea? He has changed, but who knows what will happen if he lets his anger control him again?”

Anaya held up her hand as if she meant to argue.

“I’m not saying that there is anything between us…”

“Of course not,” Lana interrupted with a smirk, which earned her a scowl.

“But _if_ he cares for me, isn’t that proof enough that he has changed?”

“I suppose you’re right,” Lana agreed, “Still, you should talk to him and get it over with, so your no longer daydreaming during briefings,”

Anaya rubbed her face in frustration.

“Are all sith this persistent?!”

“Only when things get in the way of our objectives. And here I thought such relationships were above the jedi. I’m glad to see I’m not yet too old enough to learn,”

Lana gave her the most cocky smirk, the jedi had ever seen from her sith friend.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I?”

“Probably not.”

* * *

 

Arcann was used to getting odd looks and people whispering as he passed. It had been that way since he first joined the Alliance. He was not so much used to the odd smiles, chuckles and giggles that came with it that day. Arcann had even checked his reflection and attire twice to make certain nothing was amiss. It continued throughout the day and eventually Arcann stopped paying it much mind, until he passed Anaya’s HK droid and its friend Z0-OM. He had not intended to stop, but they seemed quite insistent.

“Hello!” the overeager droid greeted him, as it jumped up and down waving.

“Hello?” Arcann looked at the droids, not quite sure what was going on.

The HK unit then began to speak in a friendly manner.

“Information: In light of your new relationship with my master, I have now granted you limited access to her private quarters. Full access still requires my masters authorization,”

Arcann’s jaw nearly dropped on the floor from astonishment.

“Excuse me? Has Anay- I mean the commander, asked you to do this?”

“Explanation: No need. We already know about you and my masters relationship. As my master has encouraged me to be proactive, and expressed confidence in my decisions, I took the opportunity to take initiative,”

This wasn’t good.

“I see,”

The HK droid removed it blaster from its back and began calibrating it, as it continued to speak.

“Warning: We may or may not also have installed countermeasures keyed to your genetic makeup in her quarters, should you try to exterminate my master in her sleep,”

“You better not hurt our master, meatbag!” Z0 threatened and turned to HK, “How was that?”

“Praise: Very impressive and intimidating,”

Arcann looked at the two droids and felt an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Evidently his intentions of their relationship remaining private had clearly not gone as planned. Deadpanned he told the droids:

“Noted,”

He then continued through the base, hoping he could find somewhere to evade his increasing notoriety. This was clearly not going to be the end of it.

* * *

 

After her embarrassing meeting with Lana earlier, all Anaya wanted to do was routine tasks and updates. Anything routine that could keep her mind occupied. So she decided to check up on how the different departments were stocked. She had visited Sanarea and Ogurrub, and now it was her own smuggler operations turn. She had barely entered the area before she got the feeling that she had been expected.

“Hey commander! Hold up!” Anaya heard Gault from behind.

When she stopped both he and Hylo caught up to her.

“So, there has been some rumors going around the base about you and a certain emperor…” Gault began.

“Not you too!” Anaya all but whined.

“Ha! Pay up!” Hylo laughed and held a hand out in front of Gault.

“Damn it! You’re killing me here! Couldn’t you have waited one more week?” Gault groused as he transferred credits to Hylo using a datapad and then walked off. Anaya was mortified by the whole transaction. They were actually betting on her and Arcann?

“How did you know?”

Hylo shrugged while looking at her own datapad, that had just increased its number of credits.

“Oh, the whole base is talking about it,”

“The whole base?!” Anaya exclaimed in horror.

“Don’t look so down, commander. You just made me a small fortune!”

And while Hylo walked off whistling a happy tune, Anaya bolted for her room. It was her intention to stay in her room for the rest of the week at least.

* * *

 

Arcann returned to the hangar bay to unload the supplies, he had brought back the day before, and hoped he could hide away for a little while. He had no such luck, however, and his timing could not have been worse as apparently the rumours about Anaya and him were spreading like wildfire. And even if anyone had not heard the rumours, they were presently informed by Koth, whose voice boomed through the hangar.

“You have got to be kidding me!”

Koth instantly saw Arcann and stomped towards him, while fuming and his crew watching with great interest.

“For years you tormented the galaxy and terrorized Zakuul! And yet here you are walking around free and why? Because you had a change of heart?! Where is the justice in that?!”

His eyes were like piercing daggers and his nostrils flared out of control.

“I know I have done terrible things. I will attempt to atone for it. It’s why I joined the Alliance,” Arcann lamented hoping it would appease Koth.

“Is it now? And you being romantically involved with the new Empress is just what? A coincidence?”

Arcann couldn’t help, but be a little offended at the insinuation.

“She saved me and I owe her everything. So no, my devotion to the commander is not a mere coincidence,” he defended with sincerity.

“This better not be a trick to get your throne back, that’s all I’m saying!”

For a moment it looked as if Koth actually believed him. Koth turned and walked a few steps, before turning back around and went right up to Arcann.

“You know, what it’s not all I’m saying! You’re a worthless son of a Hutt!”

Koth threw a punch at Arcann, but though he saw it coming, Arcann didn’t move. At the impact of the blow Koth’s glove managed to give him a nasty cut and Arcann could taste blood in his mouth.

“What is going on?!” Lana’s voice boomed as she came down the hallway.

“Justice, that’s what!” Koth spat.

Lana looked back and forth between Koth and Arcann - almost as if she was waiting for him to retaliate. She released a heavy breath and turned to Koth.

“I understand your feelings, but Arcann is out ally now. And I can’t just let our people walk around punching each other. What will the commander say?”

Tora snorted from behind them and Lana gave her a stern look. She then turned to Arcann.

“You better have that looked at. I’ll attend to this. Thank you, for not letting matters escalate,”

“It was nothing I didn’t deserve.” Arcann stated regretfully and gave an apologetic nod to Koth before walking away.

* * *

 

Despite all of her training, Anaya felt slightly annoyed. It felt like her privacy had been invaded and she had never felt on display like this before. Mostly she worried for Arcann. He was so isolated already. Most were polite of course, but there was no doubt that he made most people anxious. In some ways, that was also why Theron’s absence has been so hard. He had been the only one, who treated Arcann like a true member of the Alliance. Lana was civil of course, but since Theron left she had become much more guarded. In a way it felt like she had lost both her friends at once. Concentrating was hard, so when Senya started humming in the briefing room, while Anaya was going over intel, it tried her patience. The humming eventually turned into soft singing.

“... and Scyva watched over first love bloom,”

“You’re singing,” Anaya pointed out with a smile.

“Oh, was I? I apologize if I disturbed you,” Senya said innocently.

“It’s alright. It’s good to see you happy,”

Anaya poured another cup of caf and started re-reading the same passage again, only to be interrupted by Senya once more.

“It’s about young love,”

“Sorry?” Anaya looked up confused.

“The song I was humming. It’s an old song about young love blossoming in the middle of war,” Senya explained cheerfully.

“That’s nice…” then it hit Anaya that maybe Senya had heard the rumours.

Whatever look Anaya gave Senya at that moment, must have revealed everything, because she was chuckling almost deviously. In truth it was one of the traits Anaya loved most about Senya, but not necessarily when it was directed at her.

“I…” Anaya tried, but found herself at a loss for words. Instead Senya stroked her cheek kindly with the back of her hand.

“It’s good to see him happy. He always felt things so much more strongly than Thexan, but I know his heart is safe with you. But I think I will avoid your quarters from now on - for my own sake.” Senya winked.

The last comment made Anaya spew out her caf like a fountain and Senya gave a playful chuckle as she walked away.

* * *

 

Arcann was sitting on the walkway leading from the hangar bay to the docking port overlooking the casm. He felt weary after a day that had been more than awkward. Despite this, he still managed to feel some joy as he sensed Anaya approaching.

“There you are. I have been looking for you,”

“Forgive me I…” he paused as he saw her white top covered in caf, “What happened?”

“Your mother happened,” Anaya sneered and sat down next to him.

That was when she noticed the blood stains on his white collar. She placed her hand on his chin and turned his face. There was a sizeable cut that had already begun to bruise and blood begun to dry.

“Arcann! Your face!”

“Aah,” he replied as if ashamed, “I had a… confrontation with Koth,”

“Koth did this?”

“It’s far less than what I deserve after what I put Zakuul through,”

“I’m all for helping you atone, but I can’t see how this is accomplishing anything,” she groused and reached into the small pouch attached to her belt, “I need to have a talk with Koth about this,”

“That might not be the best idea, considering…” he stopped mid sentence, before continuing a new, “Besides, Lana is taking care of it,”

“She does represent a more neutral party in this,” Anaya sighed and began cleaning the cut with a kolto wipe, “It’s been hours since this happened. You should have had it looked at earlier,”

Arcann couldn’t help but smile as she gently and carefully cleaned him up, her voice and expression full of concern for him.

“I have suffered far worse and not received such kindness,” he noted and briefly looked at his cybernetic hand.

“You better not take this as an incentive to get hurt more often,” she scowled to which he merely chuckled.

A comfortable silence grew between them, but it was cut short by Koth suddenly growling loudly at them from the docking bay.

“Oh, just kiss her already and get it over with! It’s nauseating watching you two!”

“Just look the other way, you motherless Evocai,” Tora snarked at him, but Koth’s response was prompt.

“Oh shut up and get back to work, Tora!”

“What do you think we’re doin’? It’s your fault we have to organize all the cargo!”

Both Arcann and Anaya began chuckling as their bickering continued.

“Nice to know things can return to normal so quickly,” Anaya shook her head.

“Hopefully not everything will return to how it was,” Arcann smiled and gently took hold of her chin before giving her a slow and tender kiss. And of course they could hear Tora in the background.

“Took ‘em long enough!”

Some distance away stood Senya and T7, watching the two young lovers. Senya was so happy for them, but she couldn’t help feeling a little guilty.

“Are you certain we did the right thing?”

“Arcann = lonely. Jedi = lonely. Arcann + jedi = happy. Senya + T7 = make things better,”

Senya sighed a little.

“The situation might have resolved itself in time,”

“Theron + betrayal = pain. Jedi + happy = hope. Hope > pain = success,”

“And if someone is truly out to destroy her, she could not have a more devoted or motivated protector. Though, I only asked you to encourage her to talk to Arcann, not inform the entire base,”

“T7 = quiet,”

Senya looked taken aback.

“But if it wasn’t you, who started the rumours, then who was it?”

 

Earlier that day. 

Lana looked around the briefing room. With everything going on with Theron and trying to find him, the place was in disarray. Annoyed Lana looked at HK and Z0-OM.

“Would the two of you clean all this up? It looks like we suffered an airstrike,”

“Confirmation: At once master Beniko,”

Lana walked past the droids without as much as a look, completely consumed by her search for Theron and the pain she felt at his betrayal.

HK began picking up the equipment laying around, while Z0 picked up the datapads.

“Lament: No one ever bothers to thank me,” HK complained.

“Oh don’t be sad” said Z0 and turned into the alliance commander, “Thank you, HK,”

“Gratification: Thank you, Z0,”

Z0 almost squealed as she turned back, at the fact that she had cheered up her droid fellow. That was when she realised she had activated the datapad on accident and saw Arcann’s message to the commander.

“Arcann and the commander like each other! Isn’t this exciting!” the droid jumped.

Soft gasps could be heard from an ensign and an officer standing nearby.

“Caution: That datapad is private. Have you seen the number of meatbags currently occupying this room?”

Z0 looked around and saw several of them already whispering, while looking at them.

“Oh… sorry,”


	3. Cold and forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arcann feels the guilt of his past effect him more than ever, as he is confronted with the scar on his lover - the scar of a wound that almost killed her and that he was responsible for. A lot of angst in this one. You have been warned.

It had been a year since the battle on Odessen. A year since Vaylin died - killed by Anaya. Though she knew there had been no other way, Anaya felt such compassion for her and everything she had gone through. Some days she wished to could reach through time and take that little girl from her father’s clutches. But then again, what chances would she have, when not even her mother succeeded? Late at night, Odessen was quiet and other than a few guards there was noone on the platform outside. The one, where Vaylin and Vette had lost their lives. Anaya had put up a small alther and decorated it with flowers and candles - one for each life lost on Odessen that day. She was sitting there meditating, when she heard Senya behind her.

“I see I am not the only one drawn here tonight,” Senya then looked at the alther, “For Vaylin?”

“And Vette,”

“Of course… Thank you,” Senya smiled sadly and was about to turn away.

“Won’t you join me?” Anaya offered and only just then realised that maybe Senya could not face her daughters executioner that particular night. To her relief Senya nodded with a small smile and sat down next to her. There was silence for awhile, but not one that seemed uncomfortable to either of them. Still, after awhile Senya began talking.

“What was your childhood like? And your parents?”

“I don’t remember my parents. I was taken in by the jedi, when I was very young,”

“Yes, of course… seems odd to take a child from their parent’s for simply being force sensitive,”

“It’s to avoid attachment, but yes… I have started to wonder about that particular part of jedi life,” Anaya gave Senya a wry smile, who returned it along with a faint chuckle.

“How about your… master? Is that what you call it?”

“Yes,”

“Where you close?”

“Not really. My strength with the force, already as a child, was… powerful. I quickly surpassed the master I had been assigned to, when I was thirteen - an elderly and very strict jedi knight. I was around nineteen, when I was sent to Tython so that I could be assigned to another. I was fond of Master Orgus - my last Master - but I wouldn’t say we were close,”

“Must have been lonely,”

“Sometimes,” she admitted, “but then I got my own crew and I found family among them. And now I have Lana, Theron, you and Arcann,”

Senya took her hand and gave it a fond squeeze.

“You’re so dear to so many… Even Theron… where ever he is,” Senya looked up at the stars.

“He will be back,” Anaya said with certainty, “And when he does, he will have a good reason for everything that has happened,”

Senya chuckled a little darkly.

“And if he doesn’t Lana might flay him alive,”

Despite herself Anaya couldn’t fight the smile on her lips.

“I’m just glad Scourge isn’t here. He would have torn Theron apart,”

“Who is Scourge?”

“A sith…,” Anaya hesitated, “A mentor of a sort. We hardly ever agreed on anything, but he taught me lot - with extraordinary patience. Despite of our differences, we were actually quite close,”

A silence formed again, but Senya kept holding her hand - almost as if Anaya was a little girl. It felt comforting and Anaya never remembered feeling this loved her entire childhood, as she did in those minutes. Senya didn’t let go until she dried a single tear from her cheek.

“I’m I disturbing you?”

They turned to see Arcann stand a few meters away.

“Of course not,” Senya replied and made a motion for him to sit.

Before sitting down he placed a small twi'lek relic and carved animal sculpture on the alther. Anaya smiled at the trouble he had gone through, even as he didn’t know she was doing this - he had been planning to do something to remember them as well. The three of them looked towards the stars and remembered all those they had lost.

* * *

 

Surprisingly things had been calm in the Alliance lately. Emperor Vowrawn had not made any efforts to regain Iokath or any retaliation for Acina’s death since Umbrara. Anaya and Lana was certain he was planning something, but for now their priority had been Theron - and he was difficult to find. Not only was he a spy, but he knew them and their tactics. To clear her head, and enjoy the calm while it lasted, she and Arcann had been spending more time together. That day they were sparring in the wilds of Odessen, where it was private. Using sticks instead of lightsabers and fighting on poles presented just the challenge they needed. The weapon had an unfamiliar weight and the poles required exceptional balance. Should they lose their balance, it would be a cold bath in the river below - which actually didn’t seem that bad considering the heat in the air. When she almost lost her balance Arcann blocked her fall with his stick.

She couldn’t help but smile at that. Once extremely competitive, he had now become a kind hearted and thoughtful man. Whenever she looked at him her heartbeat quickened and she wanted to be closer to him. Wanted to show him, just how much he had come to mean to her. But how? What she was trying to to was directly against the jedi code. Everything she had believed seemed to be empty and hollow. She almost laughed at the thought - Scourge would have been proud. 

“You’re going easy on me,” she chuckled while catching her breath and was rewarded with a laugh.

“If past encounters have proven anything, it is that I do not need to go easy on you for you to best me,”

He jumped to the pole next to her and made a strike that she dodged with ease. She struck back, making him make a backflip to the pole behind him.

“And yet you are,” she chuckled.

“Perhaps I’m merely distracted,” he offered with a grin, “You are quite beautiful after all,”

He made a series of strikes that forced her back towards the shore. She was at the last pole before land would be her only option.

“I stand corrected. Look at you fighting dirty trying to distract me and make me blush,”

“From the glow on your cheeks I would say I succeeded,”

Anaya laughed heartily and Arcann chuckled. He leapt over her and landed on shore before pulling her to him with the force.  

“You touched land first, I won,” she smiled snidely at him.

“Are you certain?” 

He sealed the question with a tender kiss before he walked to the river and scooped up some water with his hand to cool his neck and face.

“Great idea!” she exasperated and walked over to the river as well. Her tunic was clinging to her body and felt uncomfortable and sticky. So she removed it, leaving her in her bra as she cooled herself off with the water. She noticed Arcann staring and had a smart remark prepared, but what she saw as she turned removed any mirth in her being. However carefree he had seemed before, had vanished and transformed into something she could only describe as… dread. As he slowly approached her she realised what he was looking at. The large scar on her stomach and back.

“You should have died…” his face turned pale as if he was going to be sick, “How did you survive?”

She was a little taken aback by the shock in his voice.

“I almost did. Valkorion saved me. You didn’t know?”

“When you survived I assumed that I had only hit muscle. Perhaps scraped along your side. Misjudge the angle of my lightsaber because of your robes, but looking at it now… a centimeter more to the left and I would have destroyed your spine,” there was a faint tremble in his voice as he spoke.

“I remember that day too. You fell down from a height that should have killed you… We both barely escaped with our lives… I could have lost you too,” she reached out to stroke his cheek, but he backed away shaking his head.

“I almost killed you… I could have lost not only my chance at redemption, but any hope of ever being… happy… I would be lost if not for you,” he didn’t meet her gaze even once - his guilt and shame evident.

“Don’t say that. I have faith in you,” she tried, but he walked right past her and towards the woods.

“I… I need to clear my head. Forgive me,”

Anaya’s eyes followed him as he walked away and she let out a heavy breath. She couldn’t really say that she blamed him. Everyday was a reminder of all the wrongs he had ever done, and she knew how keenly he felt them all. She had fallen for a broken man, but her jedi training had taught her a very needed lesson… patience.

* * *

 

As Arcann walked through the woods he felt embarrassed. He had behaved like a child and he knew he owed Anaya an apology - an explanation certainly. He knew what he had done to her, but knowing and seeing it was a completely different. The downside of his healing on Voss was that his conscience now seemed to be overflowing with guilt. It had always been there, ever since Thexan died, but knowing that he almost made the same mistake twice was… terrifying. That scar had been a reminder, that he could make the same mistake again. Drifting along with only his agonizing thoughts as company he found himself in a dank cave. He took released a deep sigh and kneeled down. Perhaps if he focused enough he would be able to distance himself from all that he was feeling. After a bit he felt a familiar presence and before even opening his eyes identified the person behind him.

“Thexan…”

“Hello brother,”

Arcann looked around the cave, avoiding the pain that he knew would strike him, when he eventually looked at Thexan directly.

“This cave… The force is strong here - it creates visions,”

Thexan nodded.

“It’s good to see you without the mask. A shame people will still be able to tell us apart. Remember, when we were children, and we could trick other people to believing we were each other?”

“I remember… You took a beating for me once, simply so that I would be spared,”

Thexan chuckled.

“Your temper always got you into trouble,”

“And you were always there to get me out of it,”

I silence filled the air. All Arcann wanted to do was throw himself at his brother’s feet and beg his forgiveness. But this wasn’t Thexan, simply a mirage. And even if it had been, Arcann could not find the words to fully express how deep his regret was. He felt his despair grow and for a split second, as he looked down, Thexan’s dismembered body was in his arms. Arcann jumped back, but when the body hit the ground he saw Anaya’s instead. He felt himself beginning to hyperventilate and his heart pounding as if it meant to crush his ribs. When he tore his eyes away in pure agony, a single silent tear fell. That was when he felt himself choke and was thrown against the wall. The body of Anaya was gone and in her place stood a tall pureblood sith dressed in all black. His hand was reached out towards Arcann and as he tightened his force grip, Arcann had a harder time breathing. The sith was disturbingly calm even as his rage could be felt sizzling through the air.

“I will do anything to protect her. Do you understand?” the threat was delivered with an eerie even voice.

Arcann could not answer, but the sith seemed satisfied all the same. Arcann fell to the ground and coughed as air once again entered his lungs.

“Forgive me… I needed to know,” he heard Thexan’s voice say and in place of the angry sith, stood the vision of Thexan completely unharmed. Arcann hid his face in his hand trying to calm his breathing.

“Let go of your fear. You’re not the same person you once were,”

“Am I not?” Arcann scoffed, “Seems that I simply found someone else to pull me out of trouble. I do not want her to pay for my mistakes!” he cried out in anger.

The vision of Thexan looked at him closely, and a little surprised stated:

“You love her,”

Arcann shook his head not sure what to make of any of it and with his usual stoicism responded;

“I’m not certain of what I feel,”

He had no idea if the vision spoke the truth. His own emotions were so unfamiliar, and he felt so uncertain of almost everything in his life. Lately his life had been a constant limbo between guilt and elation. He felt the vision kneel down in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“You love her.”

* * *

 

Later Anaya was in the briefing room with Lana, Koth, T7 and Senya. A small migration had begun to come to Odessen, but not forces attempting to occupy. Cargo ships full of families seeking the protection of the Alliance.

“Supplies = running out,” T7 pointed out.

“But we had supplies coming in not long ago,” Anaya sighed.

Lana rubbed her forehead in frustration as she ran the numbers.

“Yes, but with this amount of people we won’t have enough. Not to mention with the resource shortage in the entire galaxy, we don’t know when we will be in a position to get more,”

That was when Arcann entered the briefing room and walked up to stand around the table with the others.

“Sorry I’m late, Commander,”

“We were starting to worry,” Anaya smiled kindly, to which Arcann simply nodded. Koth was the one to break the awkward silence.

“Couldn’t we rob the Hutts? I suggest using Kaliyo as bait,” he jested and Anaya couldn’t help chuckling at the familiarity of it.

“Creative, but I think we have enough enemies as it is,” Lana smirked.

Senya was in one of her focused moods and studied the information carefully. She shook her head at she spoke.

“Why are these people coming here? Why now?”

“They obviously think the Alliance is the only ones, who can help them,” Koth pointed out.

“If it were only that simply. These people are mostly from the Empire. Families to those of our forces who originated from the Empire. They are seen as traitors and they fear what the Empire might do to them. They have nowhere else to go since we decided to side the Republic on Iokath,” Lana explained.

“Since I decided… this is not your fault, Lana,” Anaya reminded her, hoping to remove any guilt that Lana might have felt.

“Regardless, I stand by you and your decision, Commander,”

Anaya smiled a little ruefully and looked up at the holoterminal in front of her.

“Ration the supplies and see what we can do for them. Koth, I need you to speak with Indo. See if he can arrange for some of the refugees to stay on Zakuul - somewhere safe. I will have Aygo reach out to the Republic - see if they can spare anything to help us. Dismissed,”

They all began to clear out of the room, but none faster than Arcann. Senya stayed behind and approached Anaya.

“I know I have no right to pry, but...”

“It’s alright, Senya. Ask away,” Anaya smiled kindly.

“Did something happen between the two of you? Did you fight?”

“No, nothing like that…” for a moment Senya seemed a little relieved, “He saw the scar,”

“I see…”

No one knew the extent of that wound better than Senya. Valkorion might have kept Anaya alive, but it was Senya that had watched over her for days. She had wiped the sweat from her brow, as Anaya fought the infection it had caused. And though, she had been out for days after her encounter with Arcann, Anaya swore that she remembered Senya singing lullabies to her as if she was a child. Watching over her like a guardian.

“There is so much pain in him and I want to help him heal, but in the end the change has to come from him,” Anaya sighed, but then gave Senya a small smile as reassurance.

“I know my son - he cares for you so much. Just… be patient with him,”

“I will. Goodnight Senya,”

“Goodnight,”

* * *

 

It really hadn’t been late enough to go to bed after the meeting, but the last thing Anaya wanted was to be around a bunch of people. Especially not after the exit Arcann had made earlier. That also meant she had skipped dinner and had resorted to eating a few dry crackers, while reading up on intel on Theron. Just when she was focused on not thinking about Arcann and his odd behaviour, she heard someone at the door.

“Come in,”

Arcann entered with a tray and looked a little unsure - as if he had overstepped a boundary of some sort. It was the first time he was actually inside her room, yet he did not look around with curiosity, as his eyes remained focused on the floor.

“I figured you might not have eaten,” he began as he put down the tray on the table nearby.

“I’m starving actually. Thank you,” she smiled brightly, but he kept avoiding her eyes.

An uncomfortable silence had started to brew, when Anaya spoke again:

“I’m happy to see you,”

That caught his attention and he looked at her with a relieved smile.

“You are? I apologize for earlier...” he then turned more serious and walked slowly towards her, “I owe you an explanation for my behaviour,”

“Arcann, that’s not necessary,” she dismissed.

“Yes it is,” he was adamant, and as he seemed to gather his courage Anaya felt it best not to interrupt him.

“Valkorion’s coldness and cruelty always held such power over me. Even after his death, everything he had ever done continued to corrupt everything inside me. I almost destroyed any possible future, when I sunk that lightsaber into you… And in my hatred I would have called it a good thing. Celebrated it like a victory…, “ he hesitated before continuing, “If anything were to happen to you… looking at that scar, I feel the ache of Thexan’s death all over again. The guilt… the shame…” he sighed hopelessly, “I fear you will never understand,”

“Then help me understand,” she tried patiently as she reached for his scarred cheek.

A smile formed on his lips as he place his cybernetic hand on hers.

“You are so kind… so compassionate. You will never know what it feels like to destroy that which you love most. To have their blood on your hands. To know that my rage nearly destroyed the one person that I can’t imagine the galaxy without…”

Suddenly the room felt crowded, as if both Valkorion, Thexan and Arcann’s former rage were watching them. Like force ghosts lingering in Arcann’s shadow - taunting him. She knew exactly the words she wanted to say. They would effortlessly slip from her tongue, but it felt too soon. Too big. Too… real. She sensed his fear and his deep regret. Instead she closed the distance between them and held him tight.

“I’m right here… alive,”

The instant she hugged him, something changed in him from fear to concern and he wrapped his arms closely around her.

“You’re trembling,”

“It’s nothing… it’s just… I was a very good jedi,” 

Arcann looked at her with a very confused, but without breaking the embrace completely.

“I’m aware of your strength…”

“That’s not what I meant,” she sighed a little frustrated, as he continued to look at her patiently.

“Take you time,”

“This,” she took his hand and placed it just underneath her collarbone, so he could feel her heartbeat, “Us. It’s unfamiliar territory for me too. No attachments, remember,”

He leaned his head forward and rested his brow on hers. With on hand still on her chest the one at her waist held her a little closer.

“I swear to you; I will never allow anyone to harm you as I have. I will give up my own life before I will let anything to happen to you,”

“Arcann, I…”

He interrupted her by kissing her passionately and she responded by wrapping her arms around his neck. That was when she felt his hand underneath her tunic touching the scar.

“I’m so grateful you are alive,” he whispered bringing her back into an embrace.

“How grateful exactly?” she flirted teasingly in his ear while biting her lower lip.

“Why don’t I show you?”

She giggled as he lifted her and carried her to the bed. The word for what they did, was too soon to say out loud, but as they shared their feelings openly, the memories of Valkorion and Thexan went cold and forgotten - along with their dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :) Let me know if you wish to read more and what you would like to see.


	4. The Padawan - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While investigating Theron's whereabouts, Anaya stumbles upon a operation that shakes her to her core. All the while she is struggling with accepting that she is no longer following her jedi code to the letter, as she had done in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a little rushed, so please forgive any mistakes.

It had been hours since he last heard an update on the commander. For weeks she had been disappearing randomly. Her search for Theron was getting desperate. Arcann understood of course. If Thexan had been out there and he could somehow save him, that is exactly what Arcann would have done. On these excursion she had only brought T7 and left Arcann and Senya behind to help out Lana. There relationship was still so new. Yet he already felt attached to her and was certain that if anything should happen to her he would be lost. So staying on the upper walkways of the hangar bay he paced back and forth.

“She is fine. She will arrive in about ten minutes,”

Arcann turned to see his mother behind him.

“I checked for you,” she explained with a kind smile.

“Thank you,” he sighed with relief, but there was some melancholy in Senya’s face, “Mother, what is it?”

“When I spoke with her... She seemed… worried,” Senya frowned her brow. It was clear that she wouldn’t say anything, but she was almost as worried about the Commander as Arcann was.

“I see…”

“Just spend some time with her and be supportive,” Senya suggested with a smile and stroked his arm before he walked of.

Arcann decided to take his mother’s advice and waited in Anaya’s room - well, their room now he supposed. All of his things had been moved to her quarters and his room given to some of the many refugees that had joined them lately. He was sitting on the bed, when Anya entered the room she looked exhausted, but still managed to smile at him.

“Hey sweetheart,”

He hardly had a chance to be taken aback be the sudden nickname, before she collapsed on the bed with her head in his lap. He ran his cybernetic fingers through her hair, carefully making sure they didn’t get caught. Just when he was about to wonder if he should stop she made a pleasant humming sound.

“It’s good to have you back, Commander,”

She chuckled.

“You hardly have to call me “Commander” in private,”

“Habit,” 

She gave another breathy chuckle.

“I’m so tired,”

“Then sleep,” he uttered softly as he kept stroking her hair until she after only a minute or two fell asleep.

Hours had passed, when Arcann was awoken by the bed stirring and heard Anaya talking in her sleep. She sounded distressed. He turned over to find her thrashing and tears streaming from her eyes. Gently he helped her roll over in his arms, where he held her talked softly to her until she awoke from her nightmare.

“It’s alright. You’re safe,”

She gave a trembled breath into his chest. She had suffered from nightmares the past few weeks, but he had never seen her like this. She was normally always so calm, but there was something influencing and driving her. He just wished she would tell him what it was. After a few minutes she gave him a soft kiss and began to get out of bed. He wanted to be patient with her, but he was starting to worry more and more.

“Anaya, what’s bothering you?”

She released another trembled breath and turned on a dim light. When she turned to look at him he saw her bloodshot green eyes and her dark cheeks glisten with her tears.

“The dreams… they are getting more persistent. It’s the same one every time, but it is getting more vivid each time. I have seen some horrible things, but this…”

When she turned from him, he crawled up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

“I see children tied to medical stations and kept in small prison cells. They are experimented on again and again - in a way almost similar to the way Vaylin was. Arcann, their screams… I can’t stop hearing them,”

He just held her quietly and gave her the time she needed.

“I keep seeing Vette, but smaller - as if she was a child… And Theron is there…”

“You believe it’s a vision?”

“Yes…” she closed her eyes and Arcann could feel her focusing. The way she let herself be shaped by the force rather than control will was unfamiliar to him, but fascinating in its own way. 

“Tell me what you see,” he said softly in her ear not letting go of her.

“I see flashes of bright light. Colours dancing through everything, but not naturally. And it’s so loud - so many noises. It sounds like…” she opened her eyes instantly, “It’s on Narshaadaa. It has to be - nowhere else has that amount of neon,”

She jumped out of bed and pulled her clothes to her with the force getting dressed as she ran around the room. Arcann got out of bed as well and began getting dressed.

“I’m coming with you,”

Anaya turned, but rather than objecting, as he had expected, she merely nodded.

* * *

 

 

A few days later they were approaching the Hutt moon. Anaya had been unusually quiet and kept mostly to herself. Arcann could only imagine what her visions were doing to her. He had seen firsthand the treatment Vaylin had undergone on Nathema. To think an entire group of children were put through something similar was chilling. And to think that Theron was somehow involved as well seemed even worse. When he was called to the conference room Anaya was wearing clothes unlike any he had seen her wear before. Gone were her white and beige robes and instead she was wearing large leather boots, a matching hat and a jacket - she even had a firearm strapped to her legs. She looked more like a criminal than a jedi.

“T7, see if you can contact Master Kwiiks,”

“T7 = right away,”

Arcann walked up next to her and prepared to communicate with whomever Anaya was attempting to contact.

“Who is this Master?”

“A jedi master. One of the few to survive the assault…” she paused and looked at Arcann for a moment, “survive the invasion of Tython,”

She gave him an apologetic and for a moment he wondered why she seemed it necessary to apologize to him - the other way around seemed more appropriate. Before he could comment, however, she continued. 

“She also happens to have experience with finding force sensitive children on Narshaadaa,”

“T7 = connection established,”

The holo terminal went on and a togruta dressed in jedi robes appeared on the screen.

“Master Kwiiks,” Anaya bowed her head in respect.

“Master Anaya Cial, or is it “Commander” now?”

“Depends on who you ask,”

“It has been too long, old friend. And....” Kwiiks looked at Arcann for a long moment, “I see you have a new padawan… the former Emperor of Zakuul no less,”

He could feel the instant discomfort in Anaya - the conflict in her as what to say.

“I… He’s…” she began, but Arcann interrupted her - sparing her the need to answer.

“Grateful that I got the opportunity to atone. I was fortunate that the Commander chose to show me mercy,”

Master Kwiiks smiled a little.

“If there is a path of redemption open to you, I know of no one better qualified to help you. But enough. What can I do for you?”

“We are investigating trafficking and experimentation on force sensitive children. We believe they are from Narshaadaa,”

“I see… that is troubling. I will see if any of my contacts know anything and then get back to you as soon as I can. May the force be with you,”

“And you Master,”

As soon as the holo link was cut, Arcann turned around and began to walk out the room, but stopped as Anaya called his name.

“Arcann,”

He didn’t turn, as she spoke.

“I’m not ashamed of you,”

“No, but you are of yourself.” he couldn’t hide the disappointment from his voice - even as he did not blame her.

* * *

 

 

When they finally reached Narshaadaa T7 had given Arcann some clothes that, like Anaya’s, were more inconspicuous. The long trench coat and dusty clothes, combined with his scars and cybernetic arm made him look like a dangerous criminal - which perhaps wasn’t so far of from the truth. He had most likely had more people killed than even the most brutal crime lords on the moon. When they exited the ship the docking port was filled with people going about their business. As they walked through the port, Anaya began talking, but he hardly heard her.

“Listen, about earlier…”

Arcann looked around not noticing her at all until she gently placed a hand on his arm.

“What is it?”

“No one is looking at me. I might as well be invisible,” he smiled with disbelief and she returned it. He was so used to people starring him or avoid starring that it had become familiar. But at that moment, there were no judgemental eyes, whispers or fear. He was in such awe of it he didn’t pay Anaya any mind as she stepped in front of him. 

“Well, if you were this would be awkward,” she grabbed hold of his jacket and pulled him down for a kiss.

Some in the crowd began to whistle and he heard a few comments, but he returned her kiss regardless. T7 started beeping as soon as she pulled away and Arcann shook his head at her.

“Jedi = had to ruin it,”

Anaya chuckled looking down at the droid.

“You’re actually defending Arcann?”

“Arcann + T7 = friends,” the dorid beeped happily and rolled ahead.

“You reprogrammed my droid didn’t you?” Anaya accused Arcann with a wry smirk, as he walked past her and followed the droid.

“I would never dream of it,” he replied deadpanned.

Anaya chuckled to herself as she followed them to the nearest holo terminal. Arcann kept a careful watch as T7 engaged with the terminal. With any luck Master Kwiiks had been able to get a hold of some of her contacts.

“Contact arrival = 3 hours 34 minutes,”

“I guess we just have to sit tight then,” Anaya stated as she checked the time.

“Arcann + jedi = eat. T7 = watch ship.”

“Alright, if you’re sure. But contact us at once if you into trouble. There is a cantina nearby, we can wait there until the contact is ready to meet us,”

They went to the cantina nearby. A relative decent place giving that it was on Narshaadaa, but it still had a bunch of shady characters and barely dressed twi'lek women. Yet still fancy enough that there was good food and a dancefloor. Though, it still had the usually overdone Hutt decor, Arcann and Anaya was able to get a table that was somewhat quiet. Anaya decided not to bring up the mishab earlier. She knew he was right. She was embarrassed about being romantically involved, but not because of him. It was because of what she knew was expected of her - had been expected of her. In the Alliance it was fine - there she was “The Commander”, but within the jedi order it was still forbidden. It was something she needed to work on, but that night they had plenty to deal with as it was. Instead they simply enjoyed a meal and talked.

“... so I lived a very sheltered life. No idea of who my parents were, and was taught that it didn’t matter. But that small crew - travelling with them. It felt like family - for a while…”

Arcann turned his face down with an unreadable expression, but she then reached for his hand across the table and he looked at her again.

“Don’t give me that look. Even hadn’t I been locked in carbonite it couldn’t last forever,”  she smiled with complete forgiveness, and Arcann brought her hand to his lips. She then turned her eyes out the window and suddenly her mind seemed to wander.

“What is it?”

“We haven’t found Kira or Scourge yet. Kira became like a little sister to me and Scourge was… well, doesn’t matter now. I just hope nothing has happened to them,”

Rather than continue a subject of a painful situation, that he had been the one to create in the first place, she decided to stay quiet. The last thing she needed or wanted was to make him feel more guilty. To her surprise Arcann got up hand took her hand guiding her to the dancefloor.

“No, Arcann. I can’t dance,” she objected

“Then I will have to teach you,”

She couldn’t help but find his confidence charming, and as he put his hand on her waist she couldn’t be bothered to object further. Arcann showed her some basic steps, but other than that it was nothing extravagant. Simply him holding her in his embrace and swaying to the sound of the music.

“You know how to dance?”

“You saw the party Valin had. My father used to have them regularly as well, so naturally some skills were required. I was never as graceful as Thexan, but I got by,”

And on cue he twirled her and pulled her back into his arms, making her giggle.

“From the looks of it, you more than got by,”

He then pulled her closer and his hot breath ghosted her ear as he whispered:

“We are being watched,”

At the mention she sensed it too. Arcann must have sensed it earlier, which is why he dragged her to the dancefloor, where they could not be overheard as easy. At the bar was a woman Anaya had never seen before. She blended in naturally and had it not been for the force, Anaya doubted that she would have ever realised her presence.

“A spy,”

“Most likely,” Arcann agreed, “But who knew we were here?”

“Other than us and T7, only Master Kwiiks and she would never betray us,”

“Any chance it’s her contact?”

“No, they haven’t given us notice yet and T7 would never have sent them to our location,”

He spun her again and she couldn’t help but smile despite the situation.

“Should we confront her?” Arcann asked once she was in his arms again.

“No, let us just leave and see what happens,”

Arcann put his arm around her shoulders and walked out as soon as they paid for their dinner. The woman was following them - Anaya could sense her. She then felt Arcann reach out with the force and knocked over a small food cart creating a distraction. He then spun her around and kissed her passionately, before slowly pushing her backwards into a small walkway between two buildings. The perfect place for an ambush. And as the woman passed the alley looking for them - probably expecting to find a couple in love - Anaya pulled her into it and Arcann pressed the woman against the wall, holding his cybernetic arm against her throat.

“Hello there,” Anaya said in a friendly voice before leaning up against the wall looking at the woman pinned in place.

“Took you long enough,” she chuckled breathlessly.

“What do you want?” Arcann asked with his usual stern expression.

“We have a mutual acquaintance,”

Anaya raised an eyebrow and gave the woman a suspicious glare.

“And who is that?”

“I don’t know his name - and even if he gave me one it probably wouldn’t be the right one. But he had brown hair and cybernetics around his left eye,”

Anaya and Arcann looked at each other.

“I see…”

“What do you want? I shall not repeat the question a third time,” Arcann threatened.

“The children. He gave me information on where to find them - if they are still there,”

The woman reached into her pocket and was nearly choked by Arcann as a warning. Anaya gave him a nod and he released the woman, who then proceeded to give them the information they needed.

“Now, as nice as this was, my girlfriend is waiting,” she looked up and on the roof stood another womanly figure with a hand placed on her sidearm - ready to draw.

“Thank you,” Anaya smiled kindly and the woman merely nodded in response before walking away.

* * *

 

Stealth was not something Arcann was all that familiar with. Usually he would head straight into battle with force and power in order to control the battlefield. Anaya had far more subtlety and could go unnoticed almost everywhere for short periods of time. That combined with her adept skills of jedi mind tricks, and a natural avoidance to confrontation, made her seem like a ghost. Still, Arcann had not expected them to be scaling the exterior of a building. He was not worried about himself, but everytime Anaya made a particular dangerous leap, he felt a jolt of fear go through him. He could not hide his annoyance, when she almost didn’t make a jump and landed on a moving speeder just to jump of it again. As he joined her on the ledge he did his best not to sneer at her, but only managed to mildly soften his tone.  

“We are not accomplishing anything like this. If there are children in there, we can’t get them out this way. We might as well have fought our way in,”

“And if anyone manages to alert security we might have had to fight even more forces, putting the children at further risk,” she reasoned quite calmly, but Arcann was not quite convinced.

“I follow your lead, Commander,” he grunted.

“Look, hopefully T7 has managed to create a distraction by now, and we can get the children out of there before anyone is the wiser,”

She then took one of here lightsabers and created a hole in the wall. When they entered the room was dark with the exception of the light from the neon outside shining through the “entrance” they had made. It looked abandoned, but was filled with used medical probes and equipment - but hardly any kolto or setitives. The force fields were turned off, but Arcann could see where the cells had been. Anaya looked disturbed and saddened as she looked around.

“I don’t understand. Why would my visions lead me to this place, if there isn’t anything here?” her voice was so defeated, that Arcann’s heart felt her pain keenly.

That was when Arcann noticed a forgotten datapad pushed to the back underneath a counter some distance away. He reached out with the force and it flew right into his hand. What it he sensed from it made him him feel cold inside.

“Anaya,”

He handed her the datapad as she approached. 

“It’s encrypted…” he clarified, but she unlocked it almost immediately and he couldn’t hide his baffled expression, “How...?”

“The encryption code was used between me and Theron. No one else ever knew it. He left it here for us,”

He put a hand on her shoulder as she read through it and saw the symbol of ancient Zakuul.

“They are taking the children to the Heralds of Zildrog, but why?”

“Indoctrinating them from a young age and making sure they will have loyal followers most likely,” Arcann replied grimly looking around the room.

That was when he sensed something approaching, and pulled Anaya with him into the shadows. Through the door came a small familiar droid.

“There you are, buddy. I’m afraid we’re to late. Can you see if you can slice one of the terminals?”

“T7 = on it,”

While T7 sliced a nearby terminal Arcann kept searching for any other signs that could give them clues. Reaching out with the force he could feel the ache of the children. Despite with everything he had done, this seemed more monstrous somehow.

“Theron… what have you gotten yourself into? Poor children,” he heard Anaya utter softly.

“The Heralds were always treacherous,”

“And yet you let them rule breaktown,” she pointed out looking out into the metropolis, attempting to ignore the horror around them.

“They were a useful tool at the time, but much like the Scions they are too trapped in their own beliefs,”

That made Anaya look at him for a moment.

“Why did you hate the Scions so? I know what you said on Asylum, but there has to be more to it,”

“When I killed Thexan I was struck by a grief that ran as deep as my rage. I questioned the Scions and asked if they had foreseen it. You can imagine their answer and how I responded,” his voice remained calm and even as he spoke, but he kept focusing on the task at hand making sure that his thoughts did not drift to the past and lingered there.

“You were so fragile already. No wonder you acted so violently,”

He sighed deeply and walked over to her, leaning against the wall and looking out into the night.

“The vision of the Scions have much to offer, but they are not prophecy as much as they are possibilities. If they had told me that I would be responsible for Thexan’s death, I could have stopped at myself. I could have…” he sighed heavily again, “But they did not tell me, because it was “destiny”... I was wrong to kill them. I see that now, but at the time all I needed someone else to blame for Thexan’s death. I needed to believe that I was above prophecy so that...”

He couldn’t make himself complete the sentence, but felt Anaya’s hand in his.

“And by not warning you or Thexan, they made sure their vision became a certainty,”

Silence was the only answer he could offer her, but still he felt the softness of her hand in his - stroking it lovingly. That was when they heard T7 beeping.

“Anything on where they are taking them T7?”

“Destination = Negative,”

Anaya turned to Arcann again.

“Could they be taking them back to Zakuul?”

“I guess it is possible,”

“Do we know what the vessel they left in is?”

“Affirmative = left 2 days ago. Jedi ship = faster,”

“But not fast enough. We’ll never catch up to them,”

“We could contact Oddessen and have them set up a blockade,” Arcann suggested.

Anaya nodded in agreement and the three of them hurried out of the building and back to the ship.

* * *

 

 

Master Kwiik’s contact had turned up nothing, but thankfully they hadn’t needed it, thanks to Theron’s efforts. Master Kwiiks had gathered a few republic ships to help create a blockade together with the Gravestone. Anaya would have used the eternal fleet, but she never had confidence in it, when it came to finesse. Had Anaya not been a jedi master she would have been pacing, but instead she was sitting on her knees trying to meditate. Arcann on the other hand, had no such patience and was sitting in the pilot seat playing with his lightsaber. A nervous habit of his, she had come to notice as they had grown closer. When the holocommunicator finally made a sound, he was quickly on his feet and ready to answer. Anaya rose more steadily, but joined him at it. On the holo was most of her people from Odessen as well as Master Kwiiks, who had joined the forces on the Gravestone.

“Koth. Lana. What do you have for me?”

“We have created the blockade, Commander, but that ship is not moving as fast as it should be,” Koth explained sending them the information the Gravestone had gathered.

“How come?”

“From what I have been able to slice through their communication, they have suffered from system wide breakdowns. It seems to be caused by the ship’s age, but I find it hard to write it down to coincidence,” Lana joined in.

Anaya paused for a moment.

“Theron must have done it,”

“It would be comforting to know that all his prattle about decency wasn’t all lies,” the bite in Lana’s voice was unmistakable - even after all this time.

“What is our objective, when they approach, Commander?” Jorgan asked.

Anaya considered her plan carefully before answering.

“Disable the vessel. We need to extract the children safely. Torian, can you Gault and Kaliyo see about boarding the vessel and sabotaging it? Any useful data you can retrieve would also be appreciated,”

“Yes, Commander,”

“Good. Arcann and I will meet up with Havoc Squad and Senya on the vessel itself and get the children out,”

“Couldn’t we try and reason with them?” Master Kwiiks suggested.

“If these people are in league with the Herald’s of Zildrog, they will not listen to reason. They are fanatics,” Arcann explained.

“My son is right and we must also assume some of them are on board,” Senya agreed fervently.

“As you wish,” Master Kwiiks replied, but her hesitance was obvious to Anaya.

Anaya’s small ship managed to catch up the transport ship just minutes after they had engaged the Gravestone. The large transport ship obviously thought it had a chance against a few small ships and the Gravestone - and a few of the republic ships had already suffered for it. It had been retrofitted with all manners of artillery, meaning the crew was pirates most likely.

“Koth, take out their shields,” Arcann ordered as they approached.

“Oh, is that what I’m supposed to be doing?” he snapped back sarcastically.

As if on cue the shield broke.

“And just so we’re clear, I’m done taking orders from you!” Koth continued to rave.

“Focus. We need to board that ship now,”

Other than Anaya’s ship one of the small Alliance ships approached as well. Both managed to dock safely and Torian, Gault and Kaliyo went in one direction making sure to sabotage the ship, so they couldn’t flee with all of them aboard. Havoc squad took positions around their ships and started to engage enemy forces.

“Go get the kids! We’ll cover you!” Jorgan called out.

Anaya jumped behind a large crate, where Master Kwiiks was taking cover, and used her holo communicator.

“Kaliyo, do you have anything for me?”

“Shut up and give me a minute,” she snapped and after a few moments replied.

“There are a lot of lifesigns two decks below you, and they aren't moving, so I’m guessing they aren’t pirates,”

Master Kwiiks put her hand on the floor and reached out with the force. She nodded in confirmation.

“Alright, thanks Kaliyo. Master Kwiiks, Senya and Arcann, you’re with me,” Anaya ordered.

They fought their way down the right level through droids, thugs and fanatics. They were almost at their destination, when another holocall came in. Anaya leaned against the bulkhead for cover and Arcann jumped in front of her - protecting her from the blaster fire, as Kwiiks and Senya charged ahead.

“Not the best time, Gault,”

“Yeah well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but remember when you boyfriend said they were fanatics?”

“What of it?”

“Well, it turns out he was right. They have just set the entire thing to blow,” Gault continued.

“How long do we have?”

“5 - 10 minutes if we’re lucky,” Kaliyo replied, “They set it to blow immediately within three, but I managed to delay it - just no telling how long,”

Arcann destroyed two droids charging at them and then met her eyes for the briefest moment.

“Alright, Torian, get your team out of there and get ready for departure. If we are not there in 4 minutes, you leave without us,”

“Understood,”

Anaya ran up to the door blocking the room, they were entering and reached out with the force to open it. To her horror the place was already on fire and falling apart, as children were screaming in terror. Children of all races and with all kinds of implants. They quickly removed the force fields and helped the children out. Many of them were injured, both from the fire and the experimentations done on them. As they prepared to leave Arcann stopped in his tracks and looked to one side. Anaya paused for a moment and reached out with the force.

“I sense it too…”

One of the children then began pointing to the other room screaming:

“Nawara! Nawara!”

“I’ll go. Get the children to safety. I will find my own way,” Arcann told her calmly. Anaya swallowed and pause for a moment before nodding.

“I’ll come with you,” Senya stated.

“No mother. There are too many children, who can barely walk. I will see you back on the Gravestone,”

Senya reluctantly picked up one of the most injured children and began running. Arcann ran towards the fire with his shield up, while Anaya and the others followed Senya with all haste towards the ship. As they approached the ship, they had maybe only a minute left. Senya and Anaya both hesitated as the ship began to take off. There was no sign of Arcann and they couldn’t reach him over the holo.

“Commander, we have to leave!” Jorgan insisted.

Both women struggled to tear themselves away, but got inside the ship and they left, while a war was raging around them. Helplessly, Senya and Anaya watched as the transport ship got further and further away. Senya grabbed Anaya’s hand and held it tight - clearly afraid for her son’s life.

“Come on Arcann… Get out of there,” Anaya begged.

That was when Anaya saw the entire ship silently tear apart into pieces alongside her heart.


	5. The Padawan - Part 2

_ He awoke, when he sensed a presence in the room and he ignited his lightsaber. His royal quarters on Zakuul glimmered in the golden light. Accustomed to fear it surprised him that he felt his chest heaving for breath. The sound of his mask was the only thing he could hear, yet he was convinced that he wasn’t alone. With a sudden push he landed on the bed and found himself paralyzed. The room filled with a dim light, when he finally saw the presence stalking him. Her long black wavy hair loose, dark skin merging with the golden light and make up enhancing her luscious lips and green eyes - enkindled like her lightsaber. As he fought against the invisible restraints, audible seething travelled through his mask. The bed shifted as she crawled across it, with him lying helplessly beneath her. At the feel of the fullness of her body he swallowed unbidden. Muscle and curves intertwining beautifully, he had no doubt of her power. Her hand ghosted across his bare chest, which was drawn towards her chest. She removed his mask and he struggled for breath, while also feeling shame at his appearance. Fury ignited in him, that his trophy had him at her mercy. Her face moved closer to him, and as he felt her breath on his torn lips she whispered. _

__ _ “You will surrender,” _

Arcann sat up in his bed and looked around his royal quarters. Everything was as it should be, even as his heart was racing. Fear had always been a source of his strength. But nothing he had ever experienced unsettled him quite as the outlander. Anaya, Knight of the Jedi order, Hero of Typhon, currently stored within the palace in carbonite. She had been his father’s greatest adversary. Something he had used to his advantage and gained his father’s throne. But all of that had happened almost five years prior. So why did he keep having these dreams of her?

Aggravated, he put on some clothes and walked down into the vault. He needed to know that she was still safely secured within. It wasn’t often he ventured down there, but it happened more often than was necessary. He walked into the vault and saw that she was right, where he had left her last. The one hoisted down from the wall. The other’s he cared not for, beyond a show of might, but even in her carbonite tomb there was something… captivating about her. He walked up to it and smirked in satisfaction as he towered her. Unconsciously, his fingers graced the curve of her face and his grip lingered at her neck. She was his most prized possession - a carbonite statue - that for an unknown reason haunted his nightmares. As Arcann’s hand travelled the dreams peeked a desire for all the ways he could make her submit. A trophy, not merely on his wall, but at his side. He stepped down to the controls staring at her lovely face - his hand lingering just above the button to free her. As if slapped he snapped out of the trancelike state - not sure what had possessed him to consider his current action. He growled in his annoyance as he turned from her. If she had this power over him, even when frozen, what carnage could she cause if awake? He activated the holo as he walked away.

“Indo, have some entertainment sent to my quarters,”

“Certainly, my emperor. The usual?”

Arcan turned and looked back to the prisoner.

“No. Find someone with… bright green eyes,”

* * *

 

_ Present _

The entire room shook, making the bulkheads tremble and dust rise in the air. His heart thundered within his chest as his breath became erratic. His lungs ached from the dust and felt like needles lacerating the tissue. As he heard the screams of children, he felt an overwhelming sense of dread. His wrists and ankles were aching from the tight restraints, pulsating with an unbearable ache that felt like burning. Then in the midst of it he sensed it. The battle outside the walls and the fear like permafrost in the air. He needed to get out! He tried to scream for help, but there was noone to hear him. As he cried out in frustration the entire room shook. Glass shattered, pipes bursted and wires snapped. When the fire rose and the smoke filled the air, he closed his eyes and winced. Another explosion made the door fall into the room.

“It’s going to be alright,” a calm, dark voice soothed, while opening his restraints.

When he forced his eyes open he saw a pale, muscular man. His face was scarred and he was dressed all in white. As the man reached for him, he backed away.

“My name is Arcann. I will help you get to safety, but we must run now,”

The bulkhead creaked as if it was about to tear and he jumped forward towards Arcann. He wrapped his arms tightly around the man’s neck as he was picked up. He burrowed the face in the crook of Arcann’s neck. His rescuer was swift and sometimes if felt like they were flying - only he was too afraid to look and see what was happening. The sound of a holocall went off.

“Arcann, where in the blazers are you?”

“Almost at the shuttle, Lana,”

A loud explosion sounded.

* * *

 

Anaya reached out with the force as the ship tore apart. The vacuum of space killing the blazing fires that came with it. She sensed Senya do the same. Anaya felt her heart freeze, as she struggled to breathe. Another explosion and Senya turned her head away in agony, but Anaya couldn’t look away. As the flames were quelled, by the emptiness of space, one shuttle emerged.

“Arcann,” Anaya breathed as she closed her eyes and held a hand to the middle of her chest.

“Thank the stars!” Senya exasperated and put one arm around Anaya giving her a quick hug.

They ran towards the hangar, where the shuttle was docking. Anaya ran towards it and as soon as Arcann exited she threw herself into his embrace. His clothes were torn and singed with spots of blood all over.

“Thank the force, you’re alive!” she breathed heavily holding him as close as she could, “I was so worried,”

He gave a good natured chuckle; “Forgive me, Commander,”

Anaya shook her head at him and looked into the shuttle. There stood a little blue twi'lek trying to keep out of sight. Arcann turned and walked over to the boy, who immediately reached for him. The boy had numerous injuries and implants all over his small body. She could sense the agony in him. Frightened, he burrowed his little face in the crook of Arcann’s neck, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. With a patience, that made her smile, she saw Arcann pick up the boy and rub his back as comfort. That was when Senya came into the hangar bay - at a more relaxed pace than Anaya - with Master Kiwiiks right behind her. When Arcann turned to her with the little boy in his embrace, she put a hand on his face and another on the little boy’s head.

“We better get Lokin to look at the two of you,”

After Arcann and the boy had received medical attention, Anaya found them in her quarters on the Gravestone. The boy had fallen asleep next to Arcann with his little arm wrapped tightly around Arcann’s waist. Arcann was leaning against the headboard with a datapad in his hand. When their eyes met both of them smiled.

“How is he?”

“Afraid and in pain, but also very courageous. His name is Nawara, but he can’t speak. Lokin is going to run more tests, when we are back on Odessen,” Arcann explained as Anaya walked over to them.

Anaya sat down on the bed.

“And how are you?” she asked, her hand stroking his scarred cheek.

“I’ll live,”

“Meaning?”

“I need surgery, when we get back to Odessen,” he reached for her hand and gave it a tender squeez, “I’m stable. You don’t have to worry,”

Anaya looked at Nawara and carefully stroked his blue lekku.

“He looks so peaceful,”

Arcann gave a downhearted nod.

“The other children are afraid of him,”

“I know… from what I learned he is more powerful in the force than the others. He reacted very violently to the experiments,”

Arcann made a somber sound in agreement. Anaya leaned over and gave him a tender kiss.

* * *

 

On Odessen Arcann and the boy were receiving medical attention along with the many other children, they had rescued. During the course of three days Arcann had not left the little Nawara’s side. Whenever Arcann would leave for more than a few minutes at a time, he would get upset and no one would be able to go near him. Arcann himself was being treated for severe injuries as well. Anaya leaned against the door watching, while Arcann entertained the young twi’lek by showing him how to levitate small objects. When Master Kiwiiks approached, the boy hid behind Arcann and refused to even look at her. Kiwiiks gave them both a small smile before walking in Anaya’s direction.

“That boy has suffered great trauma,” she sighed deeply.

“They all have. It’s hard to imagine, why you would to to such lengths to gain followers,”

“I thought your time among so many sith would have taught you that perspective,”

Anaya couldn’t help, but frown.

“Lana would never do something like this. If my time among Sith has taught me anything, then it is that most have more honour than we give them credit for. Even Darth Marr,”

Kiwiiks smiled.

“You’re absolutely right,” she then turned to look at the little boy, “Did they tell you what he has been through?”

“Nawara? Lokin said that the implants were done poorly. Not only that, but that they were implanted a year ago. With his body growing so fast at this age, they couldn’t keep up. Lokin says he will never speak again,” Anaya shook her head with a mournful expression on her face and handed Kiwiiks the datapad.

“He must have been one of the first they experimented on. The others are not nearly so hurt - or traumatized. But he seems to have taken a liking to Arcann,”

Kiwiiks reached for the datapad.

“I imagine he feels safer with him, since he rescued him. And Arcann has even more scars and implants than Nawara does. He might relate to him more than us,”

T7 passed through the door and drove towards Arcann and Nawara. Anaya giggled as T7 twirled and made the little boy give a soundless laugh.

“We should be able to give him another way to communicate,” Kiwiiks noted.

“Orgurubb has already come up with the first 17 ideas. Unfortunately, he frightens Nawara even more than the rest of us. Arcann has looked up sign language as an alternative for now,”

Kiwiiks started walking towards the hangar bay and had Anaya follow her.

“Then there is only the matter of Nawara’s training to consider. If willing I would suggest that he stays and trains under Arcann,”

“Master Kwiiks, are you sure? The boy does seem rather… attached to Arcann,” Anaya gave a adoring smile at the fact.

“The boy as lost everything and has already seen himself capable of things most only see in nightmares. He needs to know that his past doesn’t define him, and I can think of no better example than Arcann. Besides, even as we avoid attachment we jedi depend on something much more rare,” Kiwiiks smiled “trust. I could find another to train the boy, but finding someone he would trust - that would be much more difficult,”

“I will have to ask Arcann first,”

“Your padawan has made great strides from the emperor he once was. I believe it would be a valuable lesson for him as well,”

“Arcann was never my padawan,” 

Kiwiiks eyed Anaya closely.

“But the bond between you… I see,” a frown appeared on the older jedi’s brow,“I believe we had this discussion, when it became clear how attached you had become to Lord Scourge,”

Anaya kept her calm and responded with a reassuring smile.

“My feelings for Arcann have nothing to do with Scourge,”

“You must see the similarities. Only few Masters are capable of turning sith towards the light--”

“Scourge never turned towards the light,” Anaya smirked despite herself, and Kwiiks shook her head.

“Don’t change the subject. You have a tendency to get attached to those, who turn to you with complete devotion,”

“They put their very existence in my hands. I have an obligation to care for them and ensure their trust isn’t misplaced,”

“That is exactly my point. They hand you power - something we Jedi avoid. You’re friendship with Arcann shouldn’t go any further, if you know what is wise,”

Anaya turned from Kiwiiks and looked at the people in the hangar. Her old Master was right, but Anaya was no longer a jedi. In truth, she had no idea, what she was. 

“I remember everything you taught me and I have followed the code all my life, but… I love him and I can’t bring myself to be ashamed of that,”

“Because he nearly died,”

Anaya turned with a sad smile.

“No... because he was willing to sacrifice himself to save one small boy. Because he had the strength to make a transformation, that I have personally seen even Masters of the jedi council struggle with. He is possibly the strongest and most devoted person I have ever met,”

Kiwiiks put a hand on Anaya’s shoulder.

“We avoid attachment for a reason, but it is clear that the affection he holds for you keeps him grounded and gives him purpose. He is devoted to his redemption and not even his attachment for you seems to be able to deter him from that path,” Kiwiiks sighed with a downcast smile, “I have never had reason to doubt your ability to do what is right before. Be careful of your emotions and do not let your feelings for him get in the way of the duty to your people. Only the most devoted jedi are permitted relationships like this,”

“Master Kiwiiks…”

“You look like I’m scolding you… All I meant to say was be careful. It is clear that it drives forth the light, but beware of the darkness - it always lurks where we least expect,”

“I will be mindful, Master,”

Master Kiwiiks gave Anaya a quick bow and then walked towards the shuttle, where the healthier children were ready to get sent to Typhon to train with the jedi. Anaya rubbed her neck in frustration and walked back to the infirmary, hoping that Arcann would agree to training Nawara.

* * *

 

After a full day spent with Nawara, Arcann walked through the base to the quarters he shared with Anaya. Arcann chuckled at the direction his life had taken. The charge of a young boy and the lover of his former enemy.

“What would Thexan have said?” he chuckled to himself.

When he entered the room Anaya was sitting in a chair consumed by the datapad in her hand. She smiled briefly at him before turning her head to stretch her neck. Arcann walked up behind her and started rubbing her shoulders. She made a humming noise as she leaned her head back.

“How is our youngling doing?”

“He seems more at ease with the other children from the Alliance, than he did with his fellow captives. T7 agreed to stay with Nawara tonight,” Arcann frowned, “I hope I can be the teacher he deserves,”

“I’m certain of it,” her smile was brief before she turned back to the pad with a sigh.

Gently, Arcann took the pad from her hand and made her walk with him to the bed.

“The Alliance can do without you for a little while,”

He made her lie down on the bed and then started to rub her back. Their relationship was still so new, but he was certain it was rare for her to be so tense.

“What’s bothering you?”

“All this time, all I have wanted to do was to create peace. Have all of us live in harmony - not beat the opposite faction into submission. But as time goes by it seems that what I strive for will never be possible. I wanted the Alliance to stand for peace, and look what happened,”

Anaya rubbed her face with a defeated sigh.

“There will always be those, who desire power at any cost. I know this better than anyone. You’re not responsible for that,” Arcann attempted to comfort.

“I look at the Republic and the Empire - there is always a vacuum there. They jump at each other’s throats like rabid womp rats. Perhaps, it was deluded of me to think that we could change the galaxy,”

“You did change the galaxy - now it’s changed again. You defended your people and you will continue to do so. You have every reason to be proud of what you have accomplished,”

Anaya gave a wistful chuckle as she sat up.

“Then why does it feel as if it all amounted to nothing - that nothing has changed, but merely reverted back to what it was?”

Arcann took her hand in his.

“For what it’s worth, you changed my galaxy for the better,”

Anaya smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Maybe that’s the way forward then. Changing the galaxy one person at a time - and have Lana scare sense into the rest,” she winked at him with a grin.

Arcann laughed softly and pressed a brief kiss against her temple. When the bed shifted he suppressed the pain in his side, but Anaya noticed regardless.

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s nothing,”

“You need to take better care of yourself. You need to heal,”

She urged him to lie down on the bed - her own fatigue and worries already forgotten.

“I’m fine,” he objected.

She gave a mischievous growl as she straddled him and playfully held his arms above his head.

“You  _ will  _ surrender,”

Arcann froze looking up at her with an intense stare. He thought of all the times he had dreamt of her like this. How threatening the dreams had seemed. Yet, the situation playing out before him was anything but. Not a nightmare, but a moment filled with a bliss he had never known until he joined the Alliance. She looked down as him with a frown and let go of his wrists.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Not at all. I…”

He reached for her, his hand caressing the soft contours of her face. She leaned into his touch with a smile as she made a small humming sound.

“I have already surrendered my heart to you,”

She closed her eyes with a giggle, kissing the palm of his hand.

“I believe I’ve fallen in love with you,” he uttered with affection.

Her eyes sprung open and she looked at him with adoring smile.

“Good, ‘cause I love you too,”

With a grin he pulled her down on top of him and kissed her passionately. Scions devoted their existence to preminissions, but Arcann had learned them to unpredictable. Seeing a thing and interpreting it were two vastly different things. He had indeed surrendered to her - body and soul - he had never been able to predict that he would have done so willingly - happily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for this taking so long. Between work, my own book and another fanfiction I haven't had time until now. I hope you will enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Please share some prompts for what you would like to see in the future.


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